What a joy it is to have one of my BEST friends share in the topic of friendship. Kate is a sweet soul and one of my dearest friends. She and her husband live in South Georgia where she serves the Lord as a special education teacher. I know you will be blessed by her thoughtful words on this topic.
Friendship
By: Kate Bostick
"Friendship has always been hard for me. The Lord has really been faithful in breaking down many walls in my heart in relation to friendship.
Growing up, I was always introverted and shy, not quick to make friends. When any conflict arose with the friends I did have, I was quick to panic and search for a solution that would bring back peace. Conflict was always uncomfortable to me and avoided by me. Because of this, throughout elementary, middle, and high school, I would let those around me not treat me the best. And because I allowed that for so long, I began to put a guard up against making new friendships. I would make excuses for not trying to make friends anymore by saying things like, “Well, I’m just introverted so it’s hard for me. It’s safest to just keep the friends I have now.” But the Lord knows the desires of our hearts (Psalm 139:1-4) and he knew that deep down, I was longing for gospel centered friendships and people to walk alongside in my every day life. The Lord began to change my heart when I realized just how lonely those walls I had built were making me. Instead of protecting me, they were inhibiting me.
Christ has placed many wonderful people in my life that have taught me that real, gospel centered friendship is not going to be easy, but it is incredibly worth it. When you allow your walls to come down and allow the Lord to place people in your life, chains are broken and joy is restored. I thought that I could do life on my own and that I didn’t need community because of past hurt. What I really needed was to look to the Lord to heal me and to trust Him to place the right people into my life.
I also had to trust Him in order to allow myself to be open with these people. Vulnerability is incredibly scary, but in my opinion, it’s the cornerstone of real friendship. Only when you allow another person in to your hurt, your sin, your dreams, and your hopes will true friendship form. Once you’re bold enough to be vulnerable with a gospel-centered friend, they are able to walk alongside you and carry your burdens that are too heavy for you to carry alone. Vulnerability allows them to cheer you along and hold you accountable. Vulnerability allows them to show Christ’s love when they truly know you and all your faults… and still choose to love you for who you are.
If you are lonely or struggling to find friends, I would encourage you to examine your heart and ask the Lord if you are being open and honest with people that are already in your life. When we choose to go about our day, doing mundane things without allowing others in, we lose opportunities for gospel friendships to form. Also; when we are closed off to allowing new friendships to form, we are not allowing Christ to work. Vulnerability, in Christ, is a gift!"
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