Meet our newest guest writer, Kaylee Martin. Kaylee is a 19-year-old college striving to live the set apart life for Christ. She is a sophomore at Mercer University, a part of Phi Mu, and perusing a degree in biochemistry with plans to become. Physician’s Assistant!
Kaylee’s word for 2023 ambition. Kaylee says “I picked this word to not only remind me of all the goals I have for my life, but also to remind me of the path that God has paved to allow me to reach for these goals and ambitions that I have.”
Kaylee has been walking with Jesus for 12 years. I can’t wait for you to hear her testimony!
Beauty in Brokenness
I was saved when I was 7 years old. I was at VBS when they shared about how allowing Jesus to come into your heart and asking him to save you was the biggest and best decision you could ever make. At this point I knew who Jesus was, but I did not have that heart knowledge. When our group got ready to leave for the next activity, I could not leave, my heart was pounding and I knew right then that I wanted a heart knowledge of Jesus. I told my leader and she prayed with me. Life was smooth sailing for a little bit, until my Nana got sick, we found out that she was going to need a huge surgery in order to live, and unfortunately she passed before she was able to get that surgery.
At the time I was 14 years old, a freshman in high school, and life as I knew it flipped upside down. I did not know how to handle the emotions going on, and I was really angry that God would take my Nana away from me when she was only 55. I started struggling with my mental health and struggling with feeling like life was worth it. After some long talks with my parents, and therapy life started looking up. I was excited as I was about to enter into my senior year of high school. In the summer before my senior year, one of my close friends, Evan Davis, passed away in a car accident. I was crushed, and just like that it felt like all the progress I had made was gone. I was angry with God again. Evan was 17 years old, and one of the best people I knew, he did not deserve to die, but he did. Senior year was hard, our entire senior class was devastated to be back at school without Evan there. I made it through that rough year, and accomplished one of the goals I had set for myself, I graduated salutatorian, and I had got accepted into the college I wanted to attend. Life started looking better again. I was so excited to go to college in the fall. When I got there it was great for the first few weeks. I missed my mom, dad, and sister, but I had made friends, and I ran home to Phi Mu. I was excited for my future. Then things started to go downhill, again. My suite mate sexually assaulted me, and threatened to hurt me, and I was terrified, so I stayed in that room for the entire semester, completely terrified of what she would do. I finally reported her and I was able to get out of that situation, but I started dealing with intense anxiety. I felt like life was never going to get better.
Thankfully, I was able to come home for the summer, and I had gotten the news that I would be living in the Phi Mu house the following year. I was so excited for what this year of college would hold. The semester started off great! However, in early October, my Papa Dennis was taken to the hospital, he had collapsed and gone into cardiac arrest. Once he was at the hospital he kept going into cardiac arrest and he passed away. And just like that, my life was flipped upside down yet again. I was heartbroken, and angry. I kept asking God why, why did he let something bad happen every time life seemed to be looking up again. I asked Him why I couldn’t just have a break. I was angry, I felt so broken and hopeless.
I prayed and prayed asking Him for answers, and instead He gave me clarity.
I was able to look back at every single time that I felt hopeless and every time I was ready to give up, and I was able to see how He provided for me. All my friends and family there to get me through the rough days. All the times where my friends were there for me when they didn’t even know I was struggling, all the songs I heard that seemed to perfectly explain how I was feeling, and all the Bible verses I would come across that were just what I needed to hear. God showed me that He was there for me through all of it. He was right there holding on while I was trying to run away. While I still do not know what His plan is for my life, or what hardships are coming my way, I know that God will provide for me. He will pick me back up when I’m falling apart.
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